Oblivion
by Lionna Mouri
Summary: Kinda weird... not my typical subject, but it came up. Angst. There is a sequel being worked on. ^_^


~~~~~  
Title: Oblivion   
By Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)  
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@yahoo.com or shinigami_goddess@gundamwing.net   
Website: http://www.fortunecity.com/lavender/westside/1452/   
Rating/type: PG-13ish most likely, yaoi, angst (sorta), messing around with Duo's past, mm…   
heh… ::sweatdrop:: implied rape  
Started: June 19, 2000Completed: June 20, 2000  
~~~~~  
  
A faint rustle of cloth alerted the dozing boy and he immediately snapped awake and sat up with gun in   
hand. "Just me…!" the blonde raised his hands up with a surprised look on his face.  
  
Slowly lowering the gun, Duo kept his eyes on the blonde boy as he worked on getting the kinks out of his   
neck. "Why in the world am I out here on the couch?" he wondered aloud.  
  
The blonde laughed. "Duo, you fell asleep during the mission plans. Heero was about to get you up again   
but we reminded him that you had a long mission last night."  
  
Raising an eyebrow in slight interest, Duo asked, "So, then, what I miss?"  
  
"Nothing much," a Chinese boy commented as he walked into the room. "Have you had your beauty rest,   
Maxwell?"  
  
Duo grinned and flashed Wufei a thumbs-up. "You know me! I always gotta have some beauty sleep. Girls   
ain't the only ones wanting to be pretty." He stood up and yawned. "Oi… how long I sleep?" Quatre   
shrugged before heading to his cup of tea sitting on the table. "Did I miss dinner…? Why didn't anyone   
wake me up for food?!" No one responded and Duo scratched his head while looking between Quatre and   
Wufei who seemed to be ignoring him. "Hello~~! Anyone home?"  
  
"Quit your yapping, there's leftovers in the kitchen," Wufei informed him.   
  
"Thanks, man," Duo responded while walking out of the room. He prepared his dinner and then sat down to   
enjoy it. He found the house all too quiet and it made him paranoid. He ate slowly and quietly, listening for   
any strange noises. At times when Wufei or Quatre moved in the other room he would jump at the sound of   
their footsteps. /Calm down… we're the only ones here… there's friends. Never would they try anything…   
like… that…/   
  
Finally finished with his meal, Duo looked out the window to find the sky dark and stars appearing. Sighing,   
he decided to head to bed and get a fitful sleep and not a light nap. As he passed by Quatre and Wufei   
again, he asked, "Where's Trowa and Heero? I haven't seen them since I've gotten up."   
  
Quatre looked up from the papers he was going through to answer. "They're looking over the report that we   
need to make. They ought to be done soon. You heading to bed?"  
  
"Yeah… I'm still a little tired from last night's expedition…" Duo yawned once again and shook his head to   
clear his blurred sight. "Oi… I'm more tired than I thought. Oyasuminasai." He waved and headed across   
the room to the small hallway where two bedrooms were. As always, Wufei would be sleeping on the couch   
in the living room while the other four split up into pairs to share their rooms.  
  
Inside the room Duo shared with Heero, he found the two stoic gundam pilots sitting besides the Perfect   
Soldier's ever-present laptop. "Finally awake," Heero commented as Duo walked in and flopped onto his   
bed.  
  
Making a face, Duo covered his eyes with an arm. "Are you two gonna be done soon? I'd like to get some   
sleep here!" he complained.  
  
Since his eyes were covered, he didn't know of the curious looks Heero and Trowa exchanged. "We're done   
in a few minutes," Trowa finally replied. Duo just nodded tiredly and turned over to try and get some rest.  
  
Without fully knowing it, Duo drifted off to sleep and soon was in a light sleep where he could awaken to   
any unusual sounds. A long time ago he had learned to train his senses to odd sounds that would alert him   
of an intruder. Of course that came after he learned his lesson… the hard way. Within his light sleep, Duo   
wouldn't really dream but would rather have flashes of memories appear before him. Most often scenes of a   
fire or dying faces would appear before him but other times it would contain dark rooms full of smoke and   
strangers.  
  
The sudden feel of warm hands resting on his forehead jerked Duo from his sleep and he was suddenly   
backed in a corner and holding the sheets tightly to him before he was even completely awake. Because of   
the American's movements, Heero almost slipped onto the floor. Scowling unhappily, the Japanese pilot   
righted himself. "Would you calm down? I'm just checking to see if you have a fever."  
  
Duo took deep breaths to calm himself before letting his muscles relax one by one. "God… don't do that   
again…"  
  
Frowning, Heero sat down beside his fellow pilot. "You get so jumpy with physical contact from others.   
Why?" Duo blinked and swallowed a lump in his throat. "Duo…" Heero growled a warning.  
  
The American laughed lightly and waved Heero away. "Oh don't worry about it, I'm just being paranoid   
lately. Let's get some sleep, there's a mission set tomorrow if I'm remembering correctly."  
  
Heero moved away but not without a glance behind him. /It's not just lately… it's always been like this. The   
mission isn't until tomorrow night, either./  
~~~~~~~~~~  
"We're going where?" Duo demanded in a deadly low voice. The other pilots were utterly baffled at the   
reaction that their fellow pilot was giving. Quatre had just explained that they had to get prepared for the   
nightclub they were going to.   
  
"We have to go to the Oblivion nightclub to get to the Oz information. There's a base beneath it. We'll have   
two guarding the entrance and then three of us going into the base. What's wrong with the plan?" Wufei   
inquired.  
  
Duo waved his hands to cut him off. "I'm penetrating the base. Deal?"  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Heero replied. "I'm going with Trowa and Quatre. You and Wufei are to stand guard."  
  
Angry and bordering on the edge of fear, Duo snapped, "Why can't I go instead of Quatre? What's wrong   
with me?"  
  
"You're much better at guarding. Your computer skills aren't quite at the point that we need for this   
operation. You're alert and can make sure no one gets to us," Quatre replied, trying to calm the American   
down. "Daijoubu?"  
  
/Hell no!/ Duo began worrying his lower lip. "Fine, fine… let's get started and get this over with so we're out   
of there ASAP." The other pilots exchanged looks but Quatre just shrugged.  
  
"Alright, here's the outfits…" Quatre pulled out a bag full of different tops and pants. He paired up the   
clothing and then handed the outfits to each of the pilots. "We've got to head out within forty-five minutes.   
Get ready with everything you need."  
  
They headed back to their respective rooms to change. Duo shuddered unnoticeably as he shed his shirt to   
the floor and then slipped on the skimpy leather vest Quatre had provided. The pants he was given were   
tight and clinging on him, revealing much of his figure. Chilled, Duo clutched his cross protectively as he   
calmed himself down. /A mission… it's a mission. We look out for one another. Wufei's standing watch with   
me. Nothing will happen… nothing will happen. But oh God… last time… I didn't think… and…/  
  
Duo was broken from his thoughts by Heero's short monotone. "We need to leave." Blinking, Duo just   
nodded dumbly and readied his handgun to bring along. The five pilots were soon leaving for the nightclub   
and Duo dreaded to see it, something strange clawing at his heart.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
"We'll be out in thirty minutes, contact each other if something goes wrong," Quatre instructed before they   
entered the club. Everyone nodded in agreement and they headed in. Oblivion was obviously a very popular   
place, judging by the tons of people piling into the building. "Come on." The blonde took a deep breath and   
then took the lead.   
  
Walking into the smoky, loud atmosphere sent Duo's brain in a whirl. Shadows were everywhere, small table   
lights were set on the table to shed some normal light while colored strobe lights blinked at those dancing.   
The music was blaring and deafening but most people seemed to enjoy it. There was something eerie about   
the place that was beginning to get the American and he made sure to keep close to his fellow pilots. He   
vainly tried to ignore the looks he was receiving from those at the bar.   
  
"Hurry up. Sooner you're finish, sooner we're done," Duo pointed out. He did not want to stay here, there   
were too many memories surfacing. Weight seemed to be pressing against him, rough breath tickling by his   
ear. Breathing heavily, Duo urged the others on quicker.  
  
Wufei frowned and grabbed Duo's wrist, "Oi, Maxwell, what's gotten into you?" Duo just shook his head in   
reply, avoiding the other's eyes and working on finding the way which would lead to the underground base.   
  
/What's going on?/ Heero wondered as they made their way to a dark doorway. Past the curtained area   
there was a long, wide hallway with many doors leading off to the side. "There's the security-locked door,   
let's get started." They headed to the door that was locked with a coded security system; luckily Heero had   
hacked into the Oz systems and gotten the code.  
  
"Um… Heero…" Duo tapped the Japanese pilot on the shoulder. After being glared at, Duo replied, "Hurry   
up. These other rooms… they're um…" He couldn't finish and just rubbed his neck nervously.   
  
Confused, the other pilots looked at the unmarked doors. There seemed to be no locks but then again   
perhaps they were locked from the other side. From a room close by there suddenly emitted the sounds of   
giggling and a few moans of pleasure. Turning red, Quatre urged Heero to hurry it up. They were in within   
minutes.   
  
Trowa turned back and looked over both Duo and Wufei. "Thirty minutes. Don't call attention to yourself."   
Both of the other boys nodded and the European pilot headed off after the others.  
  
Leaning against the wall, Duo stared numbly at the opposite wall, not wanting to think at all of where they   
were or remember the past. Unfortunately he would not get his peace with Wufei there. "Duo…" he started.   
Surprised, Duo turned to the Chinese pilot when he heard his given name used. "You know I'm really   
beginning to worry; what is wrong?"  
  
"It's…" Duo broke off, unsure what to do. He didn't want to tell but also didn't want to lie. "It's… from the   
past… not much significance, really."   
  
"If it wasn't significant then you wouldn't be jumpier than a hare."   
  
Duo stifled a chuckle at the poor joke. "Wu-man, I really don't want to talk about it… uh-oh…" Wufei raised   
an eyebrow in question. Duo frowned and whispered, "Here comes trouble…"  
  
Down the hallway, a group of three was approaching them. There were two men in their earlier twenties   
who looked gorgeous but horribly drunk and with them was a scantly clad female. She was giggling non-  
stop and could barely walk. The threesome caught the site of Wufei and Duo and instantly grinned and   
headed their way. Something gripped Duo inside and his heart leapt to his throat. Discreetly moved closed   
to Wufei for some sense of protection.  
  
"Yo, you two doin' anything?" one of the men asked, leering at the two young boys.  
  
Wufei stood his full height and snapped, "It is no business of yours. Go about your way."  
  
"Nuh-uh, pretty thing," the girl told him, giggling and latching onto his arm tightly.  
  
More than pissed off, Wufei tried to get the woman off of him but only ended up having her grab onto him   
more tightly. While the Chinese pilot was swearing under his breath, Duo suddenly backed against the wall   
and got ready to bring his gun out. The lighter haired man of the two approached the young boy and   
reached out to touch Duo's shoulder. Reacting automatically, Duo whipped his gun out and held it in front   
of the man's nose. Chuckling, the man knocked Duo's hand away, causing the gun to go flying down the   
hall. "Sweetie, don't do something drastic. You're passing up a good time…" The man suddenly grabbed   
Duo and lifted him up, heading to one of the rooms in the corridor.  
  
'More ya fight the funnier it gets. You're a crack up kid!'  
  
'Nuh-uh, sweet heart. You ain't leaving…'  
  
'Aw… don't wanna play? C'mon, kid, it's great…'  
  
Opening his mouth to scream, Duo frantically tried to escape the man's grasp as the door shut behind them.   
A hand slapped over his mouth and was soon replaced by a piece of cloth to gag him. The room was dark   
with only pale light from a small window pouring in. Off to one side of the room was an old bed with only a   
sheet cloaking it. Duo's breath came faster and his struggles more hurried. The larger man was too strong,   
though and threw the younger boy onto the bed.  
  
Muffled cries of panic escaped Duo's throat only to be stopped by the gag. The man approached the bed   
like a tiger on the hunt, his eyes glowing dangerously. The American managed to get to the edge of the bed   
just as the man did. Reaching down, the man managed to get a hold of both Duo's wrists and held them   
above the young pilot's head. "Oh no… don't fight me, kid. You'll love this."  
  
Duo screamed as best he could and started to kick; that just resulted in having the other straddle his hips to   
keep him in place. With the sudden weight Duo began to hyperventilate, too many things flooding into his   
mind.  
  
'A rough pull dragging him down. Sudden weight just above his hips. Suddenly his shirt gone followed by his   
other clothes. Slaps… punches… more…'  
  
Tears were, by that time, tearing down Duo's face at a fast speed. Continuing to struggle, Duo barely could   
think straight anymore so never knew when his vest was carefully stripped away. Above him, the man   
smiled appreciatively down at the firm torso and slightly scarred skin. Reaching down with one hand, the   
man began to run his fingers lightly over Duo's flat stomach and grinned darkly as the boy tried to move   
away from him. "Oh no you don't…" he whispered, leaning forward and nibbling on a soft ear.  
  
/Oh God! Please, you guys! Don't let me down! Not now! Oh God, not now! Please!/ Duo's mental screams   
echoed throughout his mind.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
"Got it," Heero announced in a monotone.   
  
"Yosh' let's get going," Quatre replied, standing from the computer terminal he had been working at. The   
three gundam pilots headed out of the room and up the stairs to their exit route.   
  
Trowa keyed in the command to open the door. None of the three ever expected the scene before them.   
Wufei was busy sending a kick to a man's temple just as the door opened. The man fell to the floor beside   
an unconscious brunette girl. "Thank God you're back!" Wufei breathed, slumping briefly. Suddenly he   
stiffened and widened his eyes. "Maxwell! Hurry, we've got to get to him!"  
  
"Nani, Wufei, what happened?!" Quatre cried, feeling something terrifying building in his heart. Wufei didn't   
answer, just rushed to one of the rooms a few doors down.  
  
"That damned woman!" Wufei whispered angrily, twisting the doorknob furiously. It wouldn't open and he   
gritted his teeth. "Damnit!" he cried as he kicked at the door. The handle juggled and then gave way,   
allowing access into the room.  
  
Something gripped Heero at that point, without looking in he could guess what the scene would be. Without   
thinking, his gun was in hand and he was in the room, holding his gun level with the head of some dark   
form just sitting from the bed. "Get. Off. Now." Heero's voice was deadly, leaving absolutely no room for   
argument. The figure stumbled out of the bed, backing away while clutching his clothes to him. Wufei   
wouldn't let him get far, moving forward to hit a pressure point on the neck.   
  
"He won't be moving for a while," the Chinese pilot's voice was filled with hatred and anger. /Damn them!   
And now… now… oh God…/ Suddenly realization sunk in.  
  
Heero had placed his gun away and rushed to the bed where a lithe figure had curled up into the fetal   
position and was vainly trying to cover himself. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…" his mantra went on   
and on, sometimes a 'not again' was entered in. Heero reached out to touch the shaking and shivering   
figure but suddenly Duo's voice screamed, "DON'T TOUCH ME! DAMNIT JUST GET AWAY!"  
  
/Duo…/ Heero gripped a fist and clenched his teeth. It sure as hell was lucky that Wufei had taken care of   
the man and not himself, he would have killed him. Still might kill him. "Duo…" his voice cracked with   
desperation. He looked over the other's boy's naked body. The lovely longhaired pilot was bleeding and   
bruised; his beloved braid undone and lying tangled about him. "Oh God… Duo…"  
  
"We have to get out of here now!" Quatre exclaimed, voice pained. Trowa had stayed silent, his face for   
once showing a faint flicker of emotion… understanding. Withdrawal. Not the normal withdrawal, a   
purposeful withdrawal inside himself as he looked his own past over.  
  
Heero couldn't respond but quickly gathered the sheet and wrapped it around Duo. The American began   
hitting him and screaming but Heero calmed him. "Stop, Duo… we've got to get you back. You'll be safe…   
come on…"  
  
"Oh God… Heero…" he sobbed brokenly, his chest heaving quickly. Finally Heero was able to get the sheet   
about Duo's still curled body and carried him to the door. The cloth previously used for a gag slipped from   
its resting-place on Duo's shoulder and fell to the floor. Face hardened, Heero looked ahead and headed   
into the hallway.  
  
"Take the back entrance."  
~~~~~~~~~~  
The American pilot had fallen unconscious on the way back to the safe house, probably that was for the   
best. It was not a fitful sleep, however, for Duo tossed restlessly in his sleep and continued to cry out. After   
the first few times the others got used to it and turned in for some sleep of their own while Heero kept   
watch.  
  
It was around one in the morning, Heero was dozing lightly, when a rustling sounded from the bed. Heero   
snapped to attention and peered at the form on the bed. A tentative voice whispered hoarsely, "Hee…   
Heero…?"  
  
"Aa. Have some water," Heero replied; handing a glass of water to the American, deciding that Duo would   
not want someone helping him.   
  
Duo pushed himself sorely into a sitting position. He began to shake suddenly, probably all the events   
catching up with him again. "Oh God… oh God, Heero… oh… k'so… k'so…" He began to hyperventilate again   
as he hugged his knees to his chest and began to rock back and forth.  
  
Suddenly firm hands clutched Duo's shoulders and Duo went into a bit of panic. "Calm down." Heero   
ordered. "Listen, I know this is hard to cope with… I'm… not… trying to be… uncaring…" he trailed off, not   
sure how to explain. However, the American was slowly stopping to shake and just began to have some   
wavering breathes. "Duo… we should have prepared more. God I can't believe that… I'm so sorry. I should   
have been there to stop it."  
  
Confused, Duo felt an old feeling tugging at his heart. "Nani…? Demo… Heero… I… I should have been   
stronger… but… oh God…" he shook his head desperately to clear his thoughts and emotions. /Why must I   
always feel this way around him?/ His heart was reaching out for Heero, hoping to find some help there.   
/Why am I looking to him for this…? Why is he… I… don't understand…/ Duo tried to brush his confusing   
emotions away.  
  
"Duo it wasn't your fault," Heero told him, coming to kneel across from the boy on the bed. "It was too   
much. But… I have the feeling there was something before this." It was a long while until Duo finally gave a   
short nod. Gentling his voice, Heero asked, "Tell me about it?"  
  
It took a long time until Duo finally raised his head and looked into the other's piercing eyes. /That look…   
the way he's acting… it's so caring! But… there's no caring in anything. It's all harsh. All brute. No   
emotions… there's no emotions besides hate. It's all sadistic pleasure. Whoa, where's that coming from?/   
  
"Okay." Heero gave a sigh of relief and waited for Duo to begin.  
  
"I grew up on the streets… long ago. Eventually I was taken into a Church orphanage. Demo… it was   
burned AC 188. I ended up roaming around trying to stay alive, doing everything from stealing to working.   
By the time I was eleven I'd got a job serving at a local bar, they were short on hands and didn't really care   
the age. There was this… guy… I… always hated him… he gave me these… looks…" Duo shuddered and   
curled in more on himself. Heero found that his hand was paused in the air, just above Duo's shoulder.   
Startled, Heero moved his hand away, knowing that Duo didn't want anything to do with physical touch at   
the moment.  
  
"One day I was serving him in the corner… he just… grabbed me. Oh God… Heero…" He started to sob   
again and gripped his hands until his fingernails pierced his palm and caused blood to flow.   
  
"I can guess the rest, don't continue," Heero said softly. He edged a little closer, wanting to reach out and   
comfort the one he trusted and had come to care for deeply. "Duo, I'm not letting it happen again. Never   
again. Do you understand?" There was no response. Heero reached a hand forward and brushed Duo's   
bangs from his face. For a moment he was afraid the American would freak but luckily that didn't happen.   
Instead, Duo looked up at his touch with tears traveling down his cheekbones. "Do you understand?"  
  
"H… hai…" Duo whispered. "Heero…"  
  
"Nanda, Duo?"   
  
"Is… is there really anything out there called love…?" he asked in a hushed, scared voice.  
  
For a long moment Heero just kept their gazes locked. He pondered the question, he honestly had never   
been sure that love existed. The universe was cruel and uncaring but… that was before. Before… before,   
well, everything. Before the war, before meeting the other pilots, before befriending Duo Maxwell. "There's   
love. Somewhere, eventually. It just takes a while to find it at times."  
  
"How do you know?" Duo inquired, unconsciously moving towards Heero's comforting warmth. "From what I   
can tell you've never been shown love…"  
  
Looking down, Heero answered, "I haven't been shown love as in lovers. All of you… the other pilots… show   
me friendship. That's a version of love, ne? As for love as in lovers…" he shrugged, "I haven't been shown   
it…" He finished mentally, /But I've felt it myself./  
  
"Heero…?" Duo's voice trailed off in the unfinished question.  
  
"I've felt it, Duo. You haven't?" Duo shook his head silently. "Have you been shown it?"  
  
"Only friendship."  
  
Heero finally loosened his mask and let a soft, kind smile come to his lips. "That's your start." He slowly   
lifted his hand, giving Duo fair warning, and let his thumb brush away the drying tears on Duo's face. Duo   
blinked in surprise, barely noticing that he was uncurling himself. A small, melancholy smile crossed Heero's   
face for a moment. "Duo…" he reached over and carefully encircled the American in his arms. The American   
was stiff and seemed to have his breathing speed up for a moment before he was slowly calmed by Heero's   
warmth. Carefully he lifted his own arms up and circled them about Heero.  
  
They stayed locked in the gentle, innocent embrace for a while until the silence was broken by Duo's   
hushed voice. "Heero… oi, Heero…?"  
  
"Aa?"  
  
"Can you… would you… will… you help me…?"  
  
Heero blinked in surprise and shifted so that he could look into Duo's eyes. Coincidentally their noses   
brushed for an instant before they settled at a comfortable distance. "In what way, Duo? How can I help?"  
  
"Will you… help me… to learn to love… onegai…?" Duo look was a mixture of emotions. He seemed unsure   
but hopeful and yet also confused.  
  
Another smile broke onto Heero's lips, "Of course. Sleep now. And Duo?" The American looked back to   
Heero before he began to settle on the bed. "I'll need help too. We'll learn together."  
  
"Arigatou…" Duo whispered with a small smile. Heero responded with a nod as he climbed off the bed and   
went to his own. /Good night./  
  
Heero looked back as he noted the American was falling into a hopefully restful slumber. "Suki da, Duo."  
  
Just as Duo slipped into the darkness of sleep, he could have sworn he heard Heero's voice again.   
Something about caring… /I'll figure it out in the morning…/ he thought to himself.  
~~~~~ Owari ~~~~~  
  
  
  
  
  
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